my dear ;

you are so gorgeous.

orangedelarge:

When you leave a place that you know and love, a place that you’ve grown up in since you were born, you find it hard to say goodbye. Especially when you’re only thirteen. Driving past all those damn cow fields and tall green trees was hard for me. I was saying good bye to my security blanket. In fact, I was having it ripped into shreds. Miles we traveled until we finally reached Bridge City, Louisiana. A quaint little ghetto only ten or twenty minutes from the bustling city of New Orleans. I immediately taught myself to despise and push away from the new and unknown.

Now, I’ve come to accept the move. My eyes were clinched shut from my new world when we moved here. Easy to do when you’re on the West Bank. Everyone was brash, loud, rude and disrespectful. You have to understand this, I’m from north Mississippi, no one limped around the hallways telling their teachers to ‘Fuck off.’ My first day, I said thank you ma’am, a natural reaction when it’s drilled into you from day one, to one of my teachers, and she accused me of sucking up. Where the hell was I?

Columbus, Mississippi. Ahhh, what a town. Millions of Baptist-Christian churches, I think there might have been one or two Catholic churches, I can’t remember, and millions more Presbyterian churches as well. Racist rednecks driving four-wheelers and going out every weekend to hunt. The girls were just the same, their only twist was that they could easily slide into sling-backs and attend their church’s tea-party. It was my home, but I never quite fell into their stride. Yes, my accent was strong, yes I was proudly sporting red-neck casual wear and throwing out ‘Git-Er-Done’ like no bodies business, but at the same time, something tweaked in me.

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fuckyeahhlove:

Last night, I fell asleep in your arms and I knew there was no one else in the entire world that I wanted to be with when I could hear your heart beat going faster and faster. I thought I knew what love was before, but now those four letters are more than letters.Tthey are like a symphony playing the most melodious song ever composed. You’re my composer. I love you.

by anonymous

bawww. this cried out to me to be reblogged because i am so clumsy whenever i think about you. x3

iamsomnia:

Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.

dreamdiarynumbertwelve:

i’m going to start keeping an online dream journal. whenever i have anything really vivid. which seems to be all the time. especially just now, not ten minutes ago. i can still feel the adrenaline rushing through my body. let me backtrack a little and then i’ll explain the dream.

i have really intense, vivid dreams. they aren’t really all that beautiful, either. they’re really lifelike, yet skewed. horrible things happen to me in my dreams that make me question reality later. in total seriousness, i will remember events from my dreams as if they were actual memories. i have woken up, sweat-drenched, frantically searching for the gun i had just had to kill the intruder who was…just standing over my bed? wait, i don’t sleep with a gun. i don’t even own one. i often wake up in the middle of the night and do not believe that i have woken up. the most recent time this happened, i was so used to still being asleep that i rolled over and grabbed my pocketknife. i thought i wasn’t real, so i had to check: i cut myself three times on my left wrist and three on the same forearm. i have learned not to leave objects near my bedside. night terrors? are those the hallucinations my mind is still playing over my glazed eyes? sleep paralysis? whatever it is, i don’t really mind it. i don’t count these as nightmares, even though they are so terrifying sometimes. i just have very very vivid dreams. like earlier, i was lying in my bed, like i so often am, chatting with a friend online, on facebook. she’s not a really close friend, although it would probably offend her slightly to hear that. actually, probably not. we’re honest enough to be okay without being ‘close’. anyway, i’m talking to her online, and i had been kind of dozing off a little, so i decided to take a nap. i’m kind of lightly drifting in and out of sleep, and my cat comes along and starts nosing around me. i pet her and kind of ignore her; she apparently takes this as a personal slight and begins examining my laptop cord. i hate when she does that so i try to shoo her away, while lifting my computer in my right hand to get it away from her. so the little kitten bitch, she looks directly at me as she bites the cord and i see this fiery flash and hear a really really loud POP and i’m stuck just stuck there and my mind is racing and i can’t move and my arm is totally paralyzed by the electricity and i’m thinking all kinds of crazy things and i know i’m trying to scream but i can’t and i try to scream, ‘mom!’ even though i mean to call for aimee. i felt my chest paralyzed and i knew i wasn’t even breathing. i called out in my head about 6 times. the 6th, i woke up. i thought it had been real. my arm still tingles.

i wonder if i actually cried out in my sleep.

i’ve separated myself from about 90% of the social networking sites. i don’t watch television. i don’t drink soda. i’m making it a point to write my thoughts and dreams down for personal reflection. i’m getting rid of extraneous material goods. i’m cutting loose the people who really don’t care. i’m re-evaluating my place in life.

these aren’t warning signs. i promise. <3

i’m so inspired. so very stunned by the beauty of the world.

52hearts:

i’m the type of girl who has words, letters, phrases falling, tripping out of her mouth, the type of girl who’s too honest when she wants things, needs things to be a certain way, and has desires and dreams that are too far to reach, who writes with the heart she’s drawn on her bottom lip which she often tucks under her top teeth in confusion and worry. i’m the type of girl who romanticizes everything from the moment her skin kisses his to the moment it rains so hard she feels the weight of every single drop on her shoulders while she watches him walk away from what could’ve been — what should’ve been their future. i’m the type of girl who will always be chasing something that’s not hers, no matter what, just because sometimes it’s the only thing she has that will keep her going.